The chicken that tried to commit suicide.

So every morning a couple of of us jump on the quad bike (which is now just sparkling and completely spider-free) and drive around to all of the chicken buses. It is mainly to check and make sure the chickens are a) alive, b) have food and water, and c) aren't starting a revolution to kill all humans. We also usually take a couple of the working dogs with us (Sandy the Beautiful, Submissive Claire and April ADHD) and they happily sit on the back of the bike and come along for a ride.

One morning Bastiaan had the brilliant idea to bring all 5 dogs with us to check the chickens.

Me: "This is a really bad idea."
Bastiaan: "No, it will be awesome!"
Me: "This is a really bad idea"

Well, I have to say that it is quite a challenge to have 5 dogs in the back of the quad bike when one of them (Boris the Disgusting) is trying to make sweet sweet love to Sandy the Beautiful (who is also his mother...but Boris doesn't seem to mind the whole incest taboo as he has previously impregnated his sister - hence the existence of April ADHD).

So because it is awkward (on many levels) to drive a dog-humping quad bike, never again did 5 dogs join us on the morning chicken check up.

ANYWAYS,

Yesterday morning Bastiaan and I took 3 dogs on the back of the bike to the the normal run around. When we got to the first set of chicken buses it was my job to check the ground for any eggs (these are collected and fed to the dogs that guard the buses at night). After 3 weeks on the chicken farm, I generally know the areas that we will find eggs on the ground. Chickens may be murderous cannibals hell bent on dominating the human race, but they still comply with the general rules of offspring survival - a.k.a. don't lay an egg in the middle of the grass so that an eagle can see it from space.

So I was looking for eggs behind the tires of the chicken food trailer when I saw a chicken trying to commit suicide.

See if you can picture this:
The trailer tires are about 3 feet high, the top of the axle sits about 2 feet off the ground - and a chicken is about 1.5 feet high. This suicidal chicken had managed to jump half way up the tire axle and somehow catch its neck between the tire and the axle - suspending its stupid chicken body about 2 inches off the ground.

I thought it was dead. I even poked at it a couple of times with a rake to make sure. I also didn't really feel like prying the chicken who committed suicide off of the tire so I simply told Bastiaan that a chicken had committed suicide on the trailer and that maybe he should gather it up before the other chickens realize there is a dead chicken in their presence and they peck its face off (and by face I mean all of its insides).

Well apparently, when he pealed the chicken neck off of the tire, the stupid chicken actually took in a gasp of air, made some chicken noises, and and started walking away like nothing ever happened.

I have NO IDEA how long it had been hanging itself, but now the apparent immorality of the chicken adds an entirely new element to their murderous ability.



So the chicken my not have committed suicide via hanging but, I still stand my statement that this chicken did commit suicide by throwing itself in front of the truck while I was driving...

Or it was already dead before I got there and that's why it didn't move out of the way.




I did not swash a chicken with the truck.





I also did not swash a chick with its water container.





All suicide.






Elise